My Halloween Costume

Assport

When you have friends who are all former, felony-indictment vandals, they usually write their name all over stuff whenever they come to your apartment.

Sometimes, ESPO will be in my apartment for five minutes and, even though it felt like I was watching him closely the whole time, he’ll leave and then I’ll find shit he wrote his name on for the next six months.

I was really pissed off earlier this year. I was getting ready to go on a family vacation to Atlantis and when I found my passport, I realized it had been vandalized by Mister Powers. Customs officials don’t take very lightly to altering passports these days so I had to spend a bunch of money and go to Connecticut to get a new, emergency passport. What a dickweed.

Joke’s on you though, Steve. Keep up the fine work and I’m sure this will be worth a lot of money some day.

Raising The Barr

Barrabas was a funky, seventies rock group from Spain whose style later ventured into a more dance / disco direction. Their music is great.

Listen…

“Hi Jack” by Barrabas

“Woman” by Barrabas

Splurt Alert

While we’re on the subject of strange white people involved in Jamaican and dancehall culture, meet Splurt.

Splurt is a creative and interesting character on the dancehall scene who has his hands in a variety of colorful and creative endeavors.

Check out the song he made with the Mad White Jamaican.

“Black President” by Mad White Jamaican & Splurt

Not Fakin’

Max and Kenny Meez put me up on this dude a while ago and I’ve been obsessed ever since. This dude is for real and he’s funny as hell. Check out all of his Youtube videos, especially the one where he goes to Washington, D.C. with famed, white Jamaican comedian Tony Hendriks. You can see that one here.

Mad White Jamaican

Uh oh.

Probably my favorite artists right now.

Eva & Franco Mattes

Halloween PSA.

Totally be a cat for Halloween. It’s easy and you can dress slutty and look hot, which should be your primary Halloween goal. There’s no, “oh what are you?” questions, you don’t look like you tried too hard, and again you can dress slutty and look hot. See.

Do not however, do the whiskers! I repeat, NO WHISKERS. At 9 o’clock you look dumb, and 3 o’clock you look like a meth addict prostitute sweated and cried all over your face.

It goes without saying that you don’t do anything like this.

Sarah Smile

A friend saw this in Brooklyn this past weekend. It’s priceless.

Performance, If You Will

23 Tubes Of Toothpaste In A Bowl

Never Forget